Most dog owners would say they love their pets like family, and I believe them. What concerns me is how often people mistake that love for understanding.
We feed our dogs, cuddle them, and talk to them as we would a child, assuming their needs are met. Yet a dog can be adored and still feel unsettled, under-exercised, and anxious.
When owners miss what their dogs need, the dog suffers quietly, and the relationship suffers with it.
Dogs are part of most American homes. APPA’s 2026 Dog Report found that 71 million U.S. households owned dogs in 2025. This is a 4 percent rise year-over-year and represents 53 percent of all households.
Over nine years, I have handled more than 60,000 dogs. In my experience, the majority of owners I meet do not know how to walk their dogs in a way that keeps them calm. And the hired hands are often no better prepared.
In the United States, dog trainers generally do not need a state-level professional licence or mandatory professional certification. However, local regulations and business licensing requirements can vary by location and type of service.
We have welcomed dogs into our culture without ever learning theirs, and the cost is visible.
In the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention’s 2022 survey, veterinary professionals classified 59 percent of evaluated dogs as overweight or obese, which may reflect how little real exercise many receive.
A 2024 study analysing owner-relinquishment records from a U.S. shelter found that behavior issues were the most frequently cited reason overall, accounting for 28 percent of cases. The authors also discussed earlier research in which behavior was cited in 30 percent of dog relinquishments.
These are not bad dogs. They are dogs living by rules nobody explained to them.
When I visit another country, I learn its language, customs, and culture. I do not expect it to adopt mine. Dogs deserve the same courtesy, especially because they can never fully learn ours.
Bridging the Difference
Small details reveal the gap. Many of the dogs I care for seem to prefer their water away from their food, possibly an instinct to keep their water source clean. Humans, by contrast, set a glass beside the plate. It is on us to bridge that difference, not them.
Dogs, by nature, need to move, roam, and explore. Unfortunately, a dog that lives in an apartment has its world restricted to a lobby, an elevator, a hallway, and a single block. Dogs need real exercise and calm, consistent guidance.
Leadership here should mean clear boundaries and steady handling, never force. I have found that reward-based methods work well in dog training. A high-pitched voice may signal uncertainty rather than warmth. Affection matters most once a dog feels safe.
When owners adapt the right way, their dogs relax. They walk without straining, settle easily at home, and return affection more freely. A calm, well-led dog can walk past a barking, lunging dog without reacting, even in a group of 10 or more.
Night walks become easier. Dogs see less in the dark, and things get better with a steady handler to depend on. Over time, the relationship shifts from tolerance to mutual respect.
Start Small
Without this positive change, restlessness in dogs can turn into reactivity, weight gain, and behavior that strains the household. Owners will keep trusting care to whoever may seem kind, in an industry where no state requires a dog trainer to be licensed.
Untrained walkers could remain the norm, and more dogs may end up surrendered for problems that understanding might have prevented.
Owners can start small. Watch your dog’s body language before reacting, replace a quick walk with a longer, more varied one, and speak in a calm, steady tone. Notice how your dog responds to small changes at home, from where its bowls sit to how its day is structured.
The same standard should apply to the people we pay. Before hiring help, ask how a walker or trainer was trained and which methods they use.
I believe dog-care businesses should train every handler under supervision before assigning a single dog. Dogs can never step into our worlds, so we must step into theirs.
Tom Simpson is the founder of Community Happy Dogs, a commercial dog-walking, training and pet-sitting business, and is writing a book about canine behavior. All opinions are the author’s own.