Twelve years of marriage have taught Adam Brody that loving someone also means questioning your own certainties and making room for the other person’s desires. Brody, 46, star of the beloved series Nobody Wants This, in which he plays Noah, a young rabbi in love with Joanne, played by Kristen Bell, tells Elle what he’s learned about life as a couple. “If you want it to last and you’re taking it seriously, there’s a certain level of humbling yourself that is required,” he explains.
Brody, who has been married since 2014 to actor Leighton Meester, has some experience when it comes to life as a couple: “There’s a duality in all of us. Oftentimes, I feel mature and responsible, and other times, I feel like a little boy still, and I can’t believe I’m the age I am,” he says. The most important lesson he’s learned is how to keep disagreements from becoming battles that must be won. “You have to be willing to adjust. Not change the core of who you are, but really factor someone else’s wants and desires and needs into the equation. You’re not always going to be right, and you have to accept that. It’s a lot easier to always be right when you’re single.” The couple shares two children.
The actor, best known to audiences as Seth Cohen—the witty, pop-culture-loving teenager from The O.C.—has a fairly laid-back attitude toward his image. That said, when asked who, between him and his wife, pays more attention to how they dress, he replies, “Probably me.”
Among the things he’d like to improve is his knowledge of languages. “Spanish. I’m such a procrastinator. I could do it in a year of Duolingo! But I just don’t do it. And that is, to me, a criminal oversight.” Brody doesn’t consider himself particularly skilled at household chores either, although marriage has made him more involved in managing the home. “Since I’ve been married, I’ve become much more domestic. Not so much that I’d go around saying I’m a really good cook, or even a good cook, although I do have some stuff in my repertoire. And I do clean. I have my areas. But no, not that handy.” DIY isn’t his strong suit.
Before Hollywood, he had many different jobs. Between 14 and 20, he changed jobs about 20 times: He started as a janitor, though he was still too young for the physical labor that job required. He worked as a waiter at Noah’s Bagels, at a car wash, in a few surf shops, as a valet at a department store, at a hotel stocking minibars, and at a pizzeria. “I liked jobs where I could talk to people more than the ones that were pure labor,” he recalls.
It’s not those jobs he misses, but rather some little enjoyments from that era, when his free time was organized differently: “I get nostalgic for getting coffee and reading the movie reviews in the free LA Weekly. Looking at the showtimes and seeing what movie I’m gonna go see that day.” Brody also worked at Blockbuster, so he could rent all the movies he wanted. “I had roommates, and I’d come home with, like, 12 movies. We have everything at our fingertips now, but at the time, that was quite the bounty.”
But there’s one thing he misses more than anything: “I guess I’m also nostalgic for America, pre the current hellscape.” Despite everything, though, he’s looking to the future: “I think better days are ahead.”