My ex owes me £11,000 but won’t pay me back because I’m ‘rich’

Buying a house together can keep former partners financially tied long after a relationship has ended.

For many, it’s a case of getting the property sold and moving on. But where one side is responsible with money and the other doesn’t care, it can spiral into a financial nightmare.

This week’s Money Problem reader, Chloe, 34, from Bristol, has found herself in exactly this situation, after her ex moved out and simply refused to honour his half of the mortgage.

Wondering if she can force him to repay the £11,000 she forked out to cover his share, she wrote to Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, for help.

The question…

My ex-boyfriend and I bought a flat together three years ago, then split up six months later.

We agreed he would move out while I tried to sell it. The sale took longer than expected and he stopped paying his half of the mortgage.

I used my savings and then took a loan out on a 0% credit card to cover the payments because I was terrified of damaging my credit record.

He kept saying he would repay me out of the equity once the flat sold. But while it has finally completed, after estate-agent fees, legal costs and clearing the mortgage, there is barely any equity left.

Even though he’s given me £4,000 out of his share, I still have £11,000 on the credit card to pay off and that’s all money he owed on the mortgage that I covered for him.

Now he’s saying he can’t afford to pay me that back and anyway, because I work in finance and earn over £100,000 so I’m ‘rich’ and can afford to take the hit. Meanwhile, he’s posted photos from a luxury holiday in Dubai with his new girlfriend.

Can I force him to give me the money back? Or was I foolish for covering the mortgage in the first place?

The answer…

Chloe, you weren’t foolish. You dealt with a crappy situation in order to protect your credit file and that’s worth something.

However, because you used debt to do it on your ex’s promise to pay up later, you’ve now got a problem.

MoneyHelper is clear that people named on a joint mortgage are each liable for the whole loan. If payments are missed, both borrowers’ credit records can be damaged, even if only one person has moved out and stopped contributing.

That does not mean your ex gets a free pass and, frankly, it’s got nothing to do with how much you earn.

The question is whether you can prove that he agreed to pay his share and then promised to reimburse you for the payments you made on his behalf.

Start by creating a proper evidence file.

Download the mortgage statements showing every payment, your bank statements, the credit card statements and the completion statement from the sale.

Then gather every text, email and WhatsApp message in which he accepted he owed a share or said he would pay you back once the flat sold.

Next, calculate the claim carefully.

Do not simply ask for the entire £11,000 credit-card balance unless that is exactly the amount of mortgage payments you covered for him.

Produce a clear spreadsheet showing the monthly payment, the amount he should have paid, what you paid and the total outstanding. Include any agreed share of essential property costs only where you have evidence that he agreed to them.

Once you have the figure, write to him formally. Keep the tone businesslike. Set out the debt, attach the schedule, include copies of the key evidence and give a realistic deadline, perhaps 14 days, to pay or propose an affordable instalment plan.

Say that if he does not respond, you will consider mediation and a County Court money claim.

As for Dubai, I know those photos must feel like a personal insult but they’re not proof that he has spare cash. He may have paid on a credit card, gone using his new partner’s money or spent his last available pound.

You are building a case, not trying to win an argument, so I’d avoid mentioning it at all.

Mediation may be worth trying if he accepts some responsibility but cannot pay £11,000 in one go – it’s usually quicker and cheaper than court.

If you go down this route, write the agreed repayment plan down, with dates and sums, and don’t agree to pause interest on the credit card unless he is paying enough to make it worthwhile.

If he denies the debt or ignores you, you can apply to the County Court for money you are owed. GOV.UK’s Money Claim service allows claims online or by post.

If the sum you can evidence and claim is £11,000, it is above the usual £10,000 small claims limit, so I would take initial advice from Citizens Advice, a law centre or a solicitor before issuing proceedings.

You need to be realistic about court fees, the evidence he may produce and the costs risk if the claim is disputed.

Winning a judgement is only part of the job. The court does not automatically collect the money for you.

If he fails to pay, enforcement should match what you know about his circumstances:

• An attachment of earnings order can take money from wages if he is employed.
• A third-party debt order can target money in a bank account.
• A charging order can secure the debt against property or certain assets, though it may not put cash in your hand immediately.

You can also ask the court to order him to disclose information about his income, spending and assets before choosing a method.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk

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