He disappeared for 10 minutes during sex and did something I couldn’t believe

‘One minute’.

My date Jeff* stopped making out with me, moved away from his bed, opened his bedroom door and exited the room.

Laying topless in silence, in a dark strange bedroom, I had no idea what was happening.

So I waited.

One minute passed. Two. Five.

Ten minutes later, he walks back in and climbs back on top of me and carries on as if nothing happened.

No reason, no conversation – just back to making out.

With one big difference – he wasn’t as turned on as he was before he left. 

So relieved was I that he’d actually returned, I continued without asking any questions. But I couldn’t stop wondering – what did he do for ten whole minutes?

I’ll admit, Jeff was a strange man. He worked with me in an office job, and was awkward, although quite popular due to his sarcastic sense of humour.

He caught my eye, but I never thought I would ever be sleeping with him months later – I simply recognised him as a good-looking but gauche young man.

Then, we got drunk at a spontaneous work night out and everything changed. He was a massive flirt after a few pints, and by the end of the night, we were making out round the corner from the pub so no one would spot us.

The next day, he was back to his awkward self, but with a sparkle in his eye.

I started to fancy him.

He left the job weeks later after getting a better paid offer elsewhere, which made it easier for us to see each other, and so we started dating.

The transition from his old to new work and moving flat meant that our relationship didn’t start off smoothly. We messaged and kept trying to fix a date, but it was a chaotic time.

Then, three weeks after he left, we managed our first date – a quick coffee before his induction day.

It wasn’t romantic, but I needed to see him – to see if it was even worth dating him. I almost started to forget if I liked him at all.

I wondered if it was just because we worked together.

But when he turned up to coffee, and gave me his awkward smile, I relaxed. I still wanted him.

We talked about his new job and moved on to exes. He mentioned something about how he wasn’t compatible with his last partner.

‘You mean in bed?’ I asked, without realising what I was saying. He blushed but answered.

‘Yeah, I guess, it just wasn’t working for us…in that department’.

I quickly moved the conversation on, hoping to evade any more awkwardness, but I did wonder what he had meant. 

‘Incompatible’ could mean a variety of things, and my first thought went to kinks. Luckily for him, that excited me and so I hoped to be surprised when we did finally sleep together.

The coffee date went and came quickly, and after his induction and first day, we met up for dinner and drinks. 

Sex was imminent and I couldn’t wait.

The dinner was lovely and I had a few glasses of wine, ready to be taken back to his place. He seemed eager too, later making an awkward comment about what to eat the next morning, and then fumbling over his words as he blushed.

It was cute.

Back at his, we fell onto his bed after walking in and bumping into doors while making out.

It was getting hot and passionate, and I was getting excited. He was as well – I could feel him becoming eager, as he groaned and kissed me all over.

I was ready. It was time.

And then he left.

For 10 minutes.

When he finally came back, he wasn’t as…excited. 

I didn’t say anything, and we had sex, which lasted for much longer than I wanted or anticipated, leaving me slightly sore.

I lay in his bed in silence after, still wondering what had happened. So much time had passed by then, that it felt weird to ask. And so I swallowed it and didn’t bring it up.

But it kept nagging at me, and while texting to set up our next date, I had to ask.

‘So, when you left me in bed for like 10 minutes…what were you doing?’

I watched our chat as the two ticks appeared and three dots as he began writing. Then the dots disappeared and he went offline.

I panicked.

Then a message appeared…ten minutes later.

‘Oh god. I’m sorry. I was too eager. I had to help myself otherwise I wouldn’t have lasted’.

I let out a laugh in shock and just stared at the message. I couldn’t believe it.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

‘I was embarrassed’, he eventually responded.

I had to tell him to communicate with me more and there was nothing wrong in getting ‘too excited’. In fact, if anything happened, we could have tried again later. Sex shouldn’t be an ‘all in one go’ sort of situation. Especially if you’re starting a relationship.

I wondered if this was the ‘compatibility’ issues he had mentioned before with his ex.

Unfortunately his awkwardness pushed me further away after this confession, and we ended up never setting up another date.

But if he communicated, we would probably be having sex again right now.

I really did like him.

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